letters to madison

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fleece tulle skirt dress / fur vest / fox knit hat / black boots (old, similar here)

my 22 month old toddler. i should really just say small human, because that is what you’ve become. you’re transforming into a little girl before my eyes. there isn’t much baby left in there, which makes me one part sad and one part elated. watching your personality unfold brings me joy everyday. even in the moments when you test us, which is more and more often. you are trying to figure out what works in this big world and what doesn’t. and we are learning right along with you. learning how to parent is an ongoing struggle. when and how to discipline are high on our “what in the world we do now” list. especially when you deliberately do the opposite of what we say, over and over and over again. we are establishing boundaries and rules right now, while still trying to let you be little. we are still learning how to do this. and we will continue to learn along with you. but what you can always be sure of is how much we love you. and how much happiness you have brought to our lives. when i come home from work & you run to the door and say “mama i missed you” it takes me a minute to compose myself and not burst out crying from your presence. that i am so blessed to have you. emotions over take me these days. a purely overwhelming sense of gratitude. for the pitter patter of your feet chasing your gussy. for our two handed hugs, and when you pull me in for a big kiss. for cuddling in my arms reading bedtime stories. for your innocence and your giggles. for the times we walk around and you tell everyone “that’s my mama.” for piggy back rides and mornings looking out the windows at the birds. the 4 of us snuggled under the covers. for the mushy soft parts of brian you have coaxed out of him. for making him dance on command and have tea parties. for dressing yourself in amazing outfits. for splashing me in the bath, every time. and for the way you need me now. i know that it will be a very short time that you will. i hope that i can soak up all of this like a sponge and that you will stay as sweet as you are now forever. i hope that the world doesn’t get to you.

there isn’t anything in the world i would not do for you.

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