today my parents celebrate 32 years of marriage. it seems like a lifetime (I guess because it IS my entire lifetime) but thinking of loving someone for that many years is hard to process. when “being in love” subsides and real love shows up, it’s sometimes a two headed monster. we make these commitments to one another based on who we think we are at the time, and what we think we want. but the fact is REAL love is hard. every day does not come wrapped in a pink bow (the color i’d wrap my days in). there is just as much struggle as there is joy. and being in love doesn’t teach you that, in fact it blinds you to it. and I do think there is a definite difference. being in love is like having knots in your stomach. you trip over your words. you bat your eyes much more than any normal person should. you find yourself smiling a little too big, and people giving you sideways glances with cocked heads and raised eye brows. it’s that love when you stay out all night holding hands & kissing in the streets. his hand is always resting upon your knee, or your shoulder, or the small of your back. his constant reminder he is there and you are his. and the next morning that turns into an afternoon in bed, your legs twisted in covers & your head resting in that little nook of his chest, you know where i’m talking about. almost as if that spot was made for you. & you never want to pull the curtains back & start your day because then you’ll have to pry yourself away from him. even though his cologne will still linger. that is being in love. and when those days start to become a constant you find yourself in a daze in which you hope you never come out of. a necessary fog & one that you crave. but what they don’t tell you is that this kind of love, although beautiful, it is not enough. because fog can dissipate as quickly as it can appear. loving someone is so much more than just being in love. if you are lucky, like my parents were, it becomes sturdy and unconditional. it does not judge but accepts you for exactly who you are. it holds you at all times and in all places. it loves your imperfections. it encourages you. it pushes you. it holds you in regard above all others. this kind of love is the love that you will spend the rest of your life trying to perfect, and constantly failing. because true love is not perfect. but it promises to be steadfast. it promises to remember being in love, and struggles to find that place. which you will drop in and out of over the course of the years. but this every day love is still the ultimate love. i have seen my parents grow together & hold onto each other for 30 of the 32 years and i know they have this unbreakable bond. they love each other, and their family more than anything. and it is THIS love, the one they have built over the years that I will continue to fight for. i hope that brian & i can be more like them. that we can be more selfless. that we can encourage and support each other everyday. that we can appreciate the small things, because they all too often become the big things. that we can perform random acts of kindness for each other, surprise each other, make each other laugh and above all, genuinely enjoy each others company. we have a very long way to go to live up to this.
i couldn’t ask for better role models, or guides for my own marriage. i admire the love that my parents have and i hope when madison looks back someday she will feel this way about her father & i. happy anniversary mom & dad!!!!