Wednesday, September 25: Write about a time you screwed up – a mistake you made.
well i could write an entirely different blog based solely off of mistakes i’ve made. i am not sure i’m going to be able to narrow it down to one horrific one. i have been stubborn & ignored advice & warnings, i have hurt people that i care about, i have lied, i have let myself drift away from God & family, i have spoke my mind… too often, i haven’t helped enough people, i have been selfish, i have been vindictive, i have been awful. i have screwed up a million times. i still however believe wholeheartedly that you should have no regrets & that every decision you make (good or bad) leads you to where you are now. & where i am now is where i want to be. i like where i am now. i have become a better person in every single facet of my life. i have learned so much, usually the hard way. & i am grateful for all of these screw ups because without them i never would have clawed my way back into the light. back into grace & into a life that i can be proud of. i can’t say that up until a few years ago i could be PROUD about the life that i led. i often felt my mistakes were going to define me for my entire existence. i am grateful that this is no longer the case. i am more patient. loving. kinder. i forgive easier (forgetting is still hard). i accept advice & help, willingly. i know who i am. i am no longer in constant search of approval. from everyone. but i know that i have family that love me & a guide in my heart who has told me it is okay to forgive myself. my sole wish is that if my past mistakes have hurt people (which i know that they have) i hope that they know i am sorry. & i hope that people will start to see me as this person i now see myself as. newly renovated. with love in my heart.
so there! take that mistakes!
oh & this face… it reminds me daily that no matter how many mistakes i’ve made, i did one thing absolutely right.