#momproblems

so today is the 134th day i have been a mom. since madison was born {and well actually lets throw pregnancy in there too} there have been quite a few #momproblems going on. besides being the obvious sleep deprived, there is that moment when you get all dressed & ready to go & get vomited or pooped on. & usually there isn’t even time to change, so you just go with it. there is that moment when you get into the shower & are like O M G YESSS a nice hot shower & as soon as you put shampoo in your hair you hear

AAAAAAAHMOMYOULEFTMEYOUWEREHOLDINGMEANDNOWYOUAREGONEHOLYSHITMYSKINISON

FIRECOMEGETMERIGHTNOW!!!!!

& you have to jump out of the shower naked, with soap in your eyes, fumbling for a towel of any sort & racing over to the mamaroo or whatever “play jail” she is in & as soon as she sees you, she just stops & giggles. she knows she runs this place. or when you are trying to nurse her and she decides she wants to look at some shiny thing in the distance & turns away and your boobs start shooting milk up her nose {this happens} & then it’s all over everyone & everything. or when you go out for a cup of coffee & bjorn her & think we will be back in 20 minutes no baby bag required and you come back with poo on your chest. or when you find yourself singing dumb songs all day long & making every sentence into a melody. that embarrassing moment when you do it at work, catch yourself, lower your head & just shuffle away. or when you get her all ready to go out, fresh diaper, cute outfit, pants, jacket, bag packed, & you get downstairs & put her in the stroller, only to hear her have a blowout in her diaper… or those nights when she wakes up at 1am & you feed her & she’s just staring up at you like when is the party starting? & you know that you are never going to back to sleep. & then 3 hours later when you’ve rocked her for 3 hours & she is asleep in your arms {so you think} you go to put her into her crib, lowering her inch by inch ever so softly & slowly & as soon as her head hits the mattress she snaps awake & wails. or for all you working mommy’s who are trying to still breast feed & you have to pump at work & you’re locked in a conference room or a broom closet praying to god the lock works & you wore a dress today & the only way to get to your milk jugs is to lift the dress up over your head – so you’re sitting there bare butt & your pump is malfunctioning & making horrific farting & squeaking sounds & you are nervous to exit the room when you’re done for fear someone overheard you & thought you ate too much mexican food last night. or continuing to watch disney jr. because the remote is “over there” – not to mention the no makeup & messy hair you have daily. the few extra pounds you are still packing & want to lose but you don’t have time to get to a gym & you sure as shit don’t have time to cook a delicious healthy meal. the crows feet that have clustered around your raccoon eyes. the sniff test on all your clothes because you can’t do laundry unless you strap on your child & lug her up & down 3 flights of stairs. or you’ve just sent yourself a calendar reminder to shower tomorrow. these are #momproblems

welcome to our world

dsgg
but THIS precious face. makes it all so worth it.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Daddy says:

    And then you get a look as that face below the Pooh hat, and it is all worthwhile…..

    1. MrsToes says:

      this is true daddy. this is true.

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