My hope for 2013

A new year is a beautiful thing. It enables us to slow down enough to reflect on the last 365 days – to learn from our mistakes and to be grateful for the blessings bestowed on us – and it also provides the opportunity to grow in the upcoming 365. This year I have learned…

…How to be a wife. How to not just live for myself but to include Brian in decisions both big and small. How to know when to compromise, when to be steadfast & even when to give in. How to accept people for exactly who they are. How to accept change and learn how to accept help. I’ve learned I don’t have to do it all by myself. I have a partner for life. I’ve learned a lot about myself in our first year of marriage & I know we will adapt to anything that comes our way.

…How to deal with pregnancy. And I mean this more emotionally. I can’t complain one bit about the easy pregnancy I’ve had so far physically but emotionally it was a roller coaster. It’s so different when we were talking about getting pregnant versus when that little stick read positive! I think I had a little bit of “this isn’t fair” when Brian could still enjoy normal things & I couldn’t – I think I was hard on him at the beginning & I learned from that. But we’ve come a long way this year preparing our lives for the biggest change ever. I think this year we learned patience for each other & it has brought us closer.

…I read a lot. I read 28 books this year on top of everything else. I want to make sure I maintain the things I love after the baby comes. I think we have to hold onto the things that define us & make us happy in order to keep our sanity. I think Brian’s will be fantasy football & golf lol

…The world is a scary place. I haven’t felt fear for everyday life until this year. Maybe because of all the tragedy this year or maybe because I was just too naive before. But this year also taught me what it means to fear, and how to deal with that. I don’t believe in living a life of fear but I also think that fears makes us feel our humanity. And our mortality. And helps us to cherish our lives even more. To appreciate each day we are given. It makes each moment more rich. More colorful. This year I’ve learned to appreciate each moment big & small.

…You can’t make everyone happy. But people will respect your honesty & your good friends will always be there for you. Even when your life situation changes from theirs. I am grateful for these friends. Who have helped us be excited this year & not fearful for change.

…That our family cooking gene skips a generation. My mom didn’t get it but I did, and I enjoy it. I think cooking for your family is a necessary thing & food brings people together. I can’t wait to do big family meals at our place with family & friends. I even started a recipe book (let me know if you want it)

As I reflect back on these things I’m grateful for such life lessons & I hope that I am a better person because of them. This year has been a blessing to us and I can only hope 2013 will be even better. My hopes for the new year…

…that I will be a good mother. That we will be good parents.

…that the world will be kind. That people will love more than they hate

…that Brian will return home to us safely every night & that I will wake up to him every morning

…that our child will have a gentle, compassionate, kind, nonjudgmental spirit for big & little things

…that our friends stay close. that we put in the necessary work to make everyone around us feel loved

…for security in our jobs and happiness – that we may provide for our little family

…that our love for each other will continue to grow daily & that God will fill our lives with his mercy & his goodness

Happy New Year!!!!!!!

“be at war with your vices. At peace with your neighbors. And let each new year find you a better person”

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