so i spent the better part of what is known typically known as happy hour (5pm-7pm) shopping for baby shower gifts and the like. i had some errands to run, and obviously it didn’t register with me that when shopping on a registry while you are far from home and have to take the subway back, that you shouldn’t purchase the heaviest items.. in any case, I did and the trek home was a struggle. b/c of this, i decided it was time to pull out my push grocery shopping cart that my mom bought me forever ago. I have never used this thing. she always told me i would and i always told i would not, b/c only little old ladies used them. but tonight, well, i guess you could say the mood struck me.
I began by pulling nonchalantly behind me to the Key Food a few blocks away. as i approached the entrance i opened that bad boy up and immediately felt like i was being judged. it was as if i had just transformed into that hunchback homeless woman pushing around her cans and talking to herself, but at this point i’m thinking ehhhh, screw it they’re just jealous. now my push cart, it’s pretty light up front. more so than i imagined and as i go down the first aisle i inadvertently popped a wheelie like some sort of grocery shopping Evel Knievel. This got a little attention. and now i’m giggling to myself as i’m shopping b/c the cart not only moves very slowly but has a very bad turning radius. i’m finding it difficult to maneuver around other shoppers and they are having to dodge me. I carry on. I fill the entire cart to the brim and I feel rather proud. I scooted on up to the cashier and unloaded everything and then paid – now i’m realizing that i have no idea how in the world i got everything into the cart. so now it’s like a game of Tetris, attempting to put the pieces back together and get it all back in there. So after 2 more people check out and pass me by, i finally get it all together & i’m ready to head home. with my unbagged groceries, in the rain, with my push cart… the best part is that this cart sucks, i mean it doesn’t do well in the streets. and i am clearly out taking my groceries off-roading. why not right?! that’s normal! so as i get onto my block i sigh a great sigh of relief and pick up the pace to get off the streets… when WHAM, an evil hidden uneven curb. the cart stops, i continue onward and over, tipping the cart and all the belongings within onto the sidewalk. at this point, im laying there, with my push cart and my groceries and all i can do is laugh. b/c now after i put them all back, i have to figure out how to get the whole contraption upstairs… it was one of the greatest shopping experiences of all time.